Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C.

A Tradition of Excellence


Home Staff Services FAQs Forms Contact Us


 
Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©

"50-50 DOESN'T WORK"

By Dr. Larry B. Gelman

 
 
 

According to conventional wisdom, marital success requires both partners to meet each other half-way and give fifty percent.  But, in my opinion, “50-50 doesn’t work”!  The faulty assumption is that two halves always make a whole.

 

Therefore, if half of one person combines with half of another person, the best that can ever be expected in the sum total is two half-people who only make one half of a marriage!  However, if each partner meets the other partner all the way and gives one hundred percent of what they’ve got to give at any given moment, then, the outcome will be spectacular, at worst!

 

Consider the implication:  Partner #1 makes a unilateral commitment to the relationship with Partner #2, and acts accordingly and consistently, to give 100% of what he’s got, at any given moment, each moment, every moment.  Partner #2 makes a unilateral commitment to the relationship with Partner #1, and acts accordingly and consistently, to give 100% of what she’s got, at any given moment, each moment, every moment.

    

There are no invisible strings attached.  There are no hidden agendas.  There are no outs. There is no “50-50”.

 

Two individuals, like early American colonies, in order to form a more perfect union, voluntarily agreeing to come together, “one nation, under God, indivisible, with justice and liberty for all”.

 

In this scenario, marriage is viewed as a “whole”, which is necessarily greater than the sum of its parts.  To give one hundred percent of what you’ve got, each moment, every moment, is really the very best anyone can ever expect to do.  If all you’ve got is 3% and you give 100% of that 3%, you can’t do any better than that.  If what you’ve got is 100% and you only give 3% of that 100%, clearly there is enormous room for improvement.

 

Then again, if you’ve got 100% and you only give 50% and your partner’s got 100% and they only give 50%, the relationship is a loser.  It cannot prosper. It cannot endure.  It cannot survive.

 

“50-50 doesn’t work!”

 

Back to Top

 
 

Single Copy License Terms of Use

For a print version of the specific document on this webpage, you are welcome to click "50-50 Doesn't Work" subject to the following terms:

                                                     

Before using, accessing, downloading, or copying and/or printing any pages on this website, please read NICA's Single Copy License Terms of Use.  

 

By using this Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) website and its services, you acknowledge notification of the terms of service and attest to an understanding of, acceptance of, and agreement to all of its terms of service.

 
 

Copyright © 2012, 1998 NORTHERN ILLINOIS COUNSELING ASSOCIATES, P.C. (NICA). All Rights Reserved.

No portion of this document may be copied or used by anyone without the express written permission of the owner.

 
   

 

HomeStaff | Services | FAQs | Forms | Articles | Legal | Contact Us | Site Map

 

 

The material presented within this website is informational only and is not intended as a substitute for professional services and assistance. We have endeavored to present accurate information, but cannot guarantee that the information on these web pages is always current or correct. We do not assume responsibility for any consequences that may result from using this web page or any sites. We do not necessarily endorse or support the contents, claims, or representations of the websites we provide links to, in whole or in part. While we try to respond to inquiries, we are unable to offer professional advice via email. If you require urgent care, contact Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) at 815-455-6736 or email us at info@nicapc.com to schedule an appointment. If you require emergency care, contact 911 or go the emergency center of your local hospital.

© 2016 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C.  All rights reserved.