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Marriage
Rules©
"LISTENING, HEARING
AND RESPONDING"
By Dr. Larry B. Gelman
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Husband: |
Bitch!
Bitch! Bitch! That’s all I ever hear! |
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Wife: |
If you
would only listen to me and hear what I’m saying, I
wouldn’t have to keep repeating myself. |
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Husband: |
I hear
you just fine. You’re like all the rest of ‘em. Talk,
talk, talk...never a quiet moment...never satisfied! |
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Wife: |
I’m
not satisfied when you don’t respond to what I’m saying. |
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Husband: |
Your
problem is that you are always saying something
critical. You never leave well enough alone. You’re
just a pain in the... |
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Wife: |
As a
matter of fact, what I need right now is for you to stop
name-calling, generalizing and not responding to me. |
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Husband: |
Huh? |
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Wife: |
I also
need you to treat me as I need to be treated. |
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Husband: |
What
the...? |
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Wife: |
Either
we are both going to address one problem at a time and
work to resolve it to our mutual satisfaction or... |
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Husband: |
Or
else divorce, right? I just knew it! You’re setting me
up! You want out! Damn you! |
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Wife: |
I just
told you what I want. |
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Husband: |
A
divorce! That’s what you really want! |
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Wife: |
A
relationship that is open and honest and respectful and
caring... |
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Husband: |
A
relationship? |
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Wife: |
Where
each of us takes good care of ourselves and also one
another... |
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Husband: |
But I
do take care of you. That’s a man’s job, to take care
of his... |
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Wife: |
Where
problems are faced together and solutions are achieved
together. |
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Husband: |
So
what you need is me... |
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Wife: |
What I
want is you to work with me as an equal. What I don’t
need is for you to take care of me because that’s your
job. What I need is me...and you... to be a team. |
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Husband: |
I guess I
had you all wrong. I’m... |
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Wife: |
Sorry
we’ve wasted all this time fighting instead of listening,
hearing and responding? |
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Copyright ©
2012, 1998 NORTHERN ILLINOIS COUNSELING ASSOCIATES, P.C. (NICA). All Rights
Reserved.
No portion of
this document may be copied or used by anyone without the express
written permission of the owner. |
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