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Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©

"LISTENING, HEARING

AND RESPONDING"

By Dr. Larry B. Gelman

 
 
 

Husband:

Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Thatís all I ever hear!

Wife:

If you would only listen to me and hear what Iím saying, I wouldnít have to keep repeating myself.

 

Husband:

I hear you just fine.  Youíre like all the rest of Ďem.  Talk, talk, talk...never a quiet moment...never satisfied!

Wife:

Iím not satisfied when you donít respond to what Iím saying.

 

Husband:

Your problem is that you are always saying something critical.  You never leave well enough alone.  Youíre just a pain in the...

Wife:

As a matter of fact, what I need right now is for you to stop name-calling, generalizing and not responding to me.

 

Husband:

Huh?

Wife:

I also need you to treat me as I need to be treated.

 

Husband:

What the...?

Wife:

Either we are both going to address one problem at a time and work to resolve it to our mutual satisfaction or...

 

Husband:

Or else divorce, right?  I just knew it!  Youíre setting me up!  You want out! Damn you!

Wife:

I just told you what I want.

 

Husband:

A divorce!  Thatís what you really want!

Wife:

A relationship that is open and honest and respectful and caring...

 

Husband:

A relationship?

Wife:

Where each of us takes good care of ourselves and also one another...

 

Husband:

But I do take care of you.  Thatís a manís job, to take care of his...

Wife:

Where problems are faced together and solutions are achieved together.

 

Husband:

So what you need is me...

Wife:

What I want is you to work with me as an equal.  What I donít need is for you to take care of me because thatís your job.  What I need is me...and you... to be a team.

 

Husband:

I guess I had you all wrong.  Iím...

Wife:

Sorry weíve wasted all this time fighting instead of listening, hearing and responding?

 

Husband:

Sorry.

 

 

 

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