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Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©

"PERFECTLY IMPERFECT"

By Dr. Larry B. Gelman

 
 
 

The human condition, by definition, is “perfectly imperfect”. 

 

For it to be otherwise, human beings could not sustain being human. 

 

So, too, with all human relationships. 

 

What each has in common is the fundamental “human condition” which characterizes them.

 

It seems to me that if the human condition were not human, then it would be something other than it is meant to be. 

 

And because human beings and their relationships are “perfectly imperfect”, then so too are all marriages.

 

Is it any wonder then that even the best marriages occasionally strain to the breaking point? 

 

In fact, virtually every enduring, healthy, mature, adult relationship I have ever been acquainted with, either professionally, or personally, has, at one or more times during its course, been in extremely serious trouble. 

 

This is neither good nor bad except insofar as what the couple does, or does not do, to resolve their struggle. 

 

Where the struggle is avoided, the marriage risks suffering in “a void” and a significant growth opportunity may be forever lost. 

 

Where the struggle is embraced, the marriage experiences its reflection in itself and “faces up” to whatever next steps may be necessary for it to heal.

 

Where the struggle results in a continuing failed solution, psychological or legal divorce may occur.

 

By the time two people find themselves in divorce court, the judge - if s/he grants it - will sign a document called, in the State of Illinois, a “Decree of Dissolution of Marriage”. 

 

“Dissolution” is a dysfunctional solution or, more properly, a failed solution!

 

Can it be that couples just aren’t smart enough to figure out the right answers in the allotted time? 

 

Or might it be possible that most people think just fine? 

 

The real problem is how they feel and in what manner they utilize those feelings to energize their perceptions and judgments to empower themselves by acting constructively.

 

From my point of view, to be “perfectly imperfect” is actually quite a relief. 

 

No one has to get it right all of the time. 

 

No one has to be in the wrong all of the time. 

 

No one has to know everything all the time. 

 

No one has to be everything all the time.

 

“Perfectly imperfect” is about as perfect, that perfect can be.

 

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