Men don’t count! Deeply embedded within
our social consciousness, there is always some recognition that men are
expendable. If a ship is sinking, it is normatively expected that
“women and children are first”.
Throughout much of recorded history,
men are the ones who are usually chosen to fight war, ostensibly, to
“protect the women and children”. And should there be any dragons
to be slain, a man had better kill the beast, at any cost to himself, if
he is ever to be respected.
Men don’t count! Consider the queen bee
and the hordes of male worker bees, the “good soldiers”, who compete
with each other for the opportunity to mate with her and then die. So
too, “when a man loves a woman”, is there really anything he would not
do for her? Would he die for her? Or live for her?
Men don’t count! Many report feeling as
if they are only an acceptable “sperm donor and paycheck”. Desperate
for the comfort of a woman’s touch, some men believe “once a woman gets
what she wants” from him, that he is forever to be relegated to the
periphery of her attentions and affections unless and until she decides
otherwise. No one cares if poppa isn’t happy!
Men don’t count! “Like shooting fish in a
barrel”; “I can get any man I want”; “Seduce him to seduce me”; “we all
know what men want””, confess a number of women who claim to know their
way around “stupid men” who all “think with the wrong head”. Like “deer
caught in the headlights”, men never see it coming. Whatever they think
they might know about females is frequently either completely wrong or
Men typically respond to the signals that
women give them. Their “fragile ego”
and “fear of rejection” make it difficult for most men to risk
initiating contact with a given woman unless she conveys relatively
clear and unambiguous signals to him which provide him entrée.
like a bank which operates with extraordinarily heightened security,
necessitating gentle and persistent effort on the part of a man, in
order for him “to get inside”, whereupon, he accrues interest
immediately after he makes his deposit and may be very heavily censured,
if not painfully penalized altogether, for any premature withdrawal!
Northern Illinois Counseling Associates,
P.C. (NICA) is a safe and healing place where men can learn to be men
without experiencing untoward guilt, shame or humiliation. Men need to
understand not only just how much they have much to learn from the women
around them, but also how to appreciate that they have a great deal of
knowledge and wisdom to teach others, as well, and then, to impart it
with respect, courtesy and humility. Men are not women and are not
supposed to be! As men, they must behave as such. Northern Illinois
Counseling Associates, P.C. can help you become a better man.
Back to Top